With you, I feel like I am kneeling over a barrel of water, with your hands tangled in my hair, and you hold me there until the slightest inkling of trust develops; and when it does, you plunge my head deep into the icy water and keep it there even when I try my hardest to fight back. And right before I drown, you save my life; lifting my face to the air and letting me breathe long enough to become relaxed again. Then the process repeats; until I am no longer fighting back. What is left?
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